why? it’s seems to be on my mind a lot, and about everything. it’s something that’s been a part of my nature since i was quite young. my parents say don’t put your hand on the stove. i ask why. they tell me it will burn my hand. seems like a solid logical answer, and i trust my parents, so no more why and i obey. but i had to ask why. my brothers were different. one just obeyed, with no questions asked. the other one put his hand on the stove and got burned. to be honest, we still play things out in life like that now. one does what he is told, and the other one still learns through mistakes everyone can see. seems to need to learn first hand. and me, i ask why. then sometimes i do not always accept the answer given to me. if it does not seem to quite make sense as the answer to my question. i need explanations. it’s the way God made me, and i may never know why. lol. the questions never stop… why do i seem bipolar sometimes? why won’t he talk to me? why do i get hives? as in, why was i made that way? why do i live here right now? why here? why this house? why this church? why do i think so much? why can i be completely happy one moment, then completely miserable and/or angry the next? why do i like the songs i like? why do i get so irritated? why can’t i ever find someone to hang out with when i want to? why do i need so much time alone, yet also go crazy when i have no one to be with? why do i need people so much to feel sane and loved? why on earth do i bite my nails? why can’t i call you? why does my generation lack passion? why are people so oblivious? why don’t they care? why do i attract hispanic men? why are we friends? why do you want to be around me? why aren’t we friends? why don’t you want to be around me? why don’t we talk more? why am i so forward and blunt with everyone but you? why do i feel like i am always the one trying harder in a relationship? why did i leave? why don’t you seem to care? why do i like pens so much? why can’t i seem to put the time into things to become good at them? why is nothing ever good enough? why can’t you stay out of my business from time to time? why do i love the color turquoise? why do i think so stinking much?
time to read…. i need to immerse myself in something to stop thinking so much….
2 Comments
January 26, 2009 at 10:52 pm
So I don’t want to make your post about me but I just want to say that I totally feel you on alot of those questions and hopefully I can go to bed and shut those questions off that are now currently rolling through my mind.
Things will get better.
January 27, 2009 at 1:45 am
it’s ok ashley… you didn’t make it about you =) just good to know i’m not the only one!!